Once they have a list of possible explanations, ask them to imagine some of the consequences of following that thought - how could the situation have played out differently? Generating alternatives that still validate their feelings about the situation is a powerful tool for meaningful optimistic reflection. Let them be creative with their exploration and try not to mediate too much. For example, ‘I fell off my scooter because I was going too fast’ as opposed to ‘I fell off my scooter because I can’t ride it and I’m useless’. This can make for a soothing and relaxing bedtime activity!Įxplore the link between thoughts and feelings - Encourage children to generate alternative explanations for events. Your 3 good things can be anything that puts a smile on your face that day - from a ‘hello’ from a stranger to winning a class prize. But we don't often take time to pinpoint the things that lifted our spirits, meaning we can miss opportunities for happiness and connection. In our daily lives, it's easy to get caught up in the challenges and struggles that come our way. 5 things you can do together to support an optimistic worldview:ģ good things - Start a tradition of sharing 3 good things that happened at the end of each day. As parents, our own well-being has a profound effect on our children, so if you're stuck for simple, practical ideas for self-care practices, take a look at this resource. Seeing the bright side can be a challenge for all of us, so if you feel like you’re struggling with reflecting positively, check out this resource for some practical steps towards more optimism. Your outlook matters to your child - Parental optimism improves psychological well-being in children and youth.
Teach children that consistent practice and hard work - as opposed to innate talent only - lead to positive outcomes. For example, a child who didn’t make the soccer team may be able to identify ways to maximize the chances of a different outcome next time, such as showing up for practice, offering to act as a substitute player, or trying out a new position. Identify which factors offer opportunity for improvement - in any given situation, there will be things outside of your control but there will also be variables that you can change. Once you know the problem, you can work together to find a solution. Help children analyze the cause of a problem in a rational way and support them to determine a problem-solving strategy. Use your language to help children identify attributes that will become strengths as they get older and to foster an optimistic sense of self-belief.
This can help us reinforce a more positive storyline with children - for example a stubborn child may be ‘persistent’, a ‘bossy’ child may be a great leader. Write down all the labels you use with a child and for each one, find a more optimistic way to frame it. The way we talk to and about ourselves and others impacts our mindset, but sometimes we are not aware of the language we are using -even with our children. Think about how you define yourself as an adult - most of the labels we use, even as adults come from our childhood. The language we use matters! Avoid using negative labels. Evidence also shows that the benefits of optimism and risk-assessment work both ways: children who are more optimistic are better at calculating risk and making more constructive decisions. Let them discover that failure is part of the learning process and not an embarrassment to avoid. Experiencing measured risk taking builds confidence and generates a sense of achievement. For more tips on the art of praise, check out this resource.Įncourage children to take calculated risks - including risky play. (There is evidence that children praised for innate abilities tend to avoid areas where they can’t easily shine). Use genuine and meaningful praise, for example ‘You’ve made this picture really colourful by using red, green, blue, pink, yellow AND purple!’ as opposed to ‘wow, your picture is great!’ Reinforce aspects of the learning process and genuine efforts at improvement rather than merely praising innate ability. As professor of psychology Martin Seligman points out “While you can’t control your experiences, you can control your explanations.” 5 Things you can do to nurture a child’s optimism: The good news is that optimism can be learned, by both adults and children.
There is also a strong link between optimism and self-esteem and in teens, research suggests that optimism leads to better physical health, including improved heart health. Studies have shown that children who tend towards pessimistic perspectives and feeling helpless have a higher tendency towards depression.
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